Chemo Round 4: Over the Hump!

Just over a week past treatment #4 and I'm feeling pretty good! Surprisingly, I seem to have gotten over the hump this time quicker than last time. Though I would say that the hard part was harder this time through both physically and emotionally. Last Saturday was my hardest day yet, feeling both nauseous and really tired and just uncomfortable in my own skin. It was yuck. Sunday was a bit better and it has gotten better steadily since. Except for the strep throat. Jet tested positive last week, without ever really getting sick, and has been on antibiotics. I started getting a sore throat on Tuesday and all my doctors agreed that I needed to start on antibiotics too. I'm usually pretty hesitant to take antibiotics unless really necessary because I know they are often over-prescribed, but I guess I'm at the point in the cycle when my immune system is lowest and they were rather insistent.
My digestion has been pretty much fine this time through but it's my mouth that is having a rough time again. Not as bad as last time, I've been more careful about what I eat, but quite persistently uncomfortable. My sense of taste had come back considerably but is starting to diminish again.
And then there's my usually positive attitude which has definitely been showing some cracks. I occasionally have some dark hours when I feel weak and pathetic and ugly and dumpy and old. Or just really sick and tired of all of it and wanting it to be done. I guess that's to be expected. My gloominess doesn't usually last long though, rarely more than a few hours.

What's been making me happy this week is reconnecting with my kitchen! I've never been much of a cook, it doesn't come naturally or easily to me. But I took on a bunch of cooking projects this week and I actually really enjoyed it. I made my first ever cream of mushroom soup, cranberry relish from real cranberries, garlic hummus, sweet potato fries and pumpkin cupcakes (with fresh pumpkin) with orange cream cheese frosting! All of it turned out really good and it was nice to finally make a real contribution to my family's Thanksgiving dinner.

Behold my Pumpkin Cupcakes! They are delish!

So much to be thankful for, including having the time and leisure to work though my sh*t, the remarkable circle of family, friends and co-workers who sustain me, and most of all this:

End of Round 3: Half Way!!

I am officially half way through my chemo treatments, having finished 3 full rounds and starting round 4 tomorrow. This round was different in that the digestive disturbance was definitely less but the mild nausea and fatigue laster much longer, about 10 days. My sore mouth cleared up pretty quickly, basically as soon as I spent a bunch of money on products to help it (but before using them). I am much more aware now of the types of things that irritate my mouth (acids, sugar, alcohol - booooo) so perhaps I can avoid it getting so sore next time.

Speaking of mouths, some of my taste has come back! It had gotten pretty bland in my mouth. At the worst of it, I couldn't even taste a pickle. My experience of food was mostly just texture and let me tell you that peanut butter, which I love, really loses its charms with no flavor. It devolves into just a sticky paste in your mouth - yuck. But I am starting to taste things again, not as fully as normal but much more than a week ago. I don't know how long that will last, I expect that the next round of chemo will knock it out again.

The other crappy thing about this last round is that as soon as my stomach settled and my energy came back, I got slammed with a bad cold. I always get sick this time of year when the weather changes, so it wasn't too surprising. I think Jet has had the same sickness too. The first night I came down with a fever that did eventually get to the temp at which I am supposed to call my doctor day or night (100.5). But just as it got that high and I was thinking about calling, I decided to eat dinner first and that made me feel much better and brought my fever down. (yay miso soup!) I was nervous though and worried that maybe I wouldn't be able to fight it off. I imagined this battle raging inside me between some nasty virus and my poor depleted immune system.

Happily, my immune system won and when I had blood work done a few days later, my white blood cell count was just fine. So I guess my immune system is stronger than I thought. Though I haven't really felt like I'd kicked this cold until today, 9 days later.
I've have this terrible cough for many days but it has almost totally cleared up since I saw my energy healer yesterday! Total coincidence perhaps, but she worked specifically on my throat and lungs, which made me cough a lot during the session. Afterwards she said it would get worse before it got better and sure enough I coughed my brains out for about 20 minutes after the appointment but then hardly at all since. Pretty cool!

Even though I was sick, the past few days have been really great. I had the pleasure of spending quality time with a bunch of friends all on separate occasions, many of whom I don't get to see very often. All of whom shared wonderful things with me, like home cooked meals, books to borrow, planning and scheming, a massage, some retail therapy, a private yoga session, darling 6 week old babies to hold and just general great companionship. It was all so wonderful.
I am so blessed to have so many people who have offered to help me with "anything I need" and so far I thankfully haven't had too many needs (Though Alex N. and Andrea have been great about having Jet over on short notice). These days it seems I mostly just want to hang out with people.

So thank you Meena, Marie, Melissa, Barry, Alex, Paula, Megan, Jeff, Nicole and Helen for giving me just what I need. :) And to Christi for hanging out with me tomorrow as I start Round 4.
Half way there.

Chemo Round 3: My Mouth Hurts :(

It has been almost a week since my third chemo infusion. I had a lot of things planned for last weekend, even though I knew I wasn't likely to be feeling well, but you just can't reschedule Halloween. It turned out alright actually, I didn't feel too bad after all. I was expecting major diarrhea and gut wrenching bowel movements (GWBMs) like I'd had after the last 2 rounds and when that didn't happen, I turned to Gadget in a panic and said, "Oh no, that must mean I'm going to be constipated!" (the side effect I was told to expect) He said, "Maybe it won't be either one." That pulled me up short because I had never even considered that maybe it would just be okay. I has set my expectations for misery and it didn't even occur to me that I might be fine. And I was. No GWBMs or granite moving constipation. Hooray!
So the weekend was better than I expected but I have since been more tired than before. I've totally fallen off the wagon in terms of regular exercise or yoga, though I did make it to the gym today for a bit. The nausea is lingering longer this time though it isn't real intense. Just enough to make me feel.... bleah. Other new fun symptoms include extremely dry skin, especially on my face. I feel like I need to put moisturizer on every couple hours. And today's biggest complaint is that my mouth really hurts. It just feels tingly and raw all over the inside, like it's been scraped up. Fortunately my throat feels okay and it doesn't hurt to swallow. I'll get it looked at when I go for my herceptin infusion tomorrow.

On a happier note, I got my chakras balanced yesterday! There's an organization out of Stanford that matches up cancer patients with energy workers for free Healing Touch treatments and yesterday was my first session. Can't say I noticed a huge difference in how I felt before and after but it was a nice experience nonetheless. I will be seeing Doris, my energy worker, every Monday for the next 3 months!

Halloween Project: Success!

Most days I really can't account for how I've spent my time. But I'm trying really hard not to get caught up into a head space where I feel bad if I haven't been productive in some way. Today, for instance, I haven't left the computer yet, even though it is one of the last beautiful days of the year outside. But look, 2 blog posts in one day! Productive!

Anyway, one little project that I did manage to pull off this week was our Halloween costumes.
Ever since watching Game of Thrones months ago, I kept thinking that Gadget looked like Khal Drogo and how I'd love to dress him up like the savage horse lord. So Gadget agreed to be my dress up doll for Halloween and started growing out his beard. For months! Even though it was uncomfortable and hot and itchy. (Such a sweeatheart)
My Khaleesi outfit was easy, especially since she doesn't wear any makeup.
To make Gadget's outfit I got a couple of cheap leather coats from the thrift store to cut up and lace into a corset, make arm gauntlets, boot tops and front/back panels. Add a couple of my mom's old minks, a wig, beard extension, make up, paint and viola! My Sun and Stars!
We went to an awesome Day of the Dead/Wedding celebration on Saturday night for two very dear friends. Not everyone knew who we were, but those who did were really excited by our costumes!
Special thanks to Karen for the advice, the help and the tools.

Follow Up: Making Strides Walk

Shamefully, it's taken me a long time to post a follow up to the amazing Making Strides Against Breast Cancer event. It was truly a magical day. We had *beautiful* weather in Golden Gate Park, never something to be taken for granted, and a fabulous turn out of people. So many students and parents were there, even a couple of parents from Jet's class. Myself and a few students were scheduled to speak up on the main stage. I had been told via email that I would have 3 minutes to speak so I had prepared something to say but then when I checked in, I was told that it be interview style. Oh well, better than the other way around! So I was interviewed by Dr. Kim Mulvihill from CBS San Francisco and she was very cool. I managed to get in all the things I had wanted to say in my little speech anyway. Here is the link to the video of the interview, in all my bald glory.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lpdZrsUvy44&

Overall it was a stupendous day. I was so proud of all my students for coming out and of course very touched by all their care and support. The walk itself was a sunny 5 miles through the park. Gadget and Jet cruised along with us on a tandem bike, all of us in our pink t-shirts.

Thank you to everyone who was involved either joining the team or contributing funds or just for moral support! Overall, Team Newblanc's Vikings raised over $14.000 for the American Cancer Society, which puts 80% of its donations toward its programs of research grants and patient support. We can all feel pretty good about that. :)